9 months

A year ago this week I found out I was pregnant with my sweet Joshua.  I have never been so shocked by any news in my life.  I flew to Arizona with this secret in my heart.  I spent the weekend with family and loved every minute of thinking of my sweet baby growing.  I knew the baby was big because I felt him moving moving all over the place.   Little did I know I would be 24 weeks along with a beautiful boy.  What a miracle for a girl who wasn't supposed to have any more children.  What a tragedy that he would be whisked from our arms to heavens door.    He is still part of our family I adore him and miss him being a part of me.  I would love to have him here today, but as I tell my son often  "it was not his plan". 

I have painful arms today.  I have longed for another baby for a while and even more so when I lost Joshua but  today my arms ache with the loss of my darling son.  Maybe another miracle can happen.  I do not know.  One can only hope and pray for a great miracle.  It truly would be miraculous.  Like I have always said.  "I believe in miracles I have seen them happen before.  Maybe it is our families turn for a miracle.