Sunday, April 3, 2011

I will Carry you

Joshua Derrek,  
OH how much I love you little one.  Memories of carrying you have been mixing with the new memories of your little brother.  I need to get a few experiences down.   I know for sure you have a job you are assigned to do.  When I was pregnant with you I felt your spirit come and go.  I knew you were doing an important job.  You would be with me so fleetingly.  You would come and go.  I am grateful to have had the remembrance of those moments you came.  I know one of your jobs is as a guardian angel.  I do not know if you are directly assigned but I know you help some of your young cousins who speak of you often.  It touches my heart to know you offer peace to them and to your siblings and family.  Your little brother will be here in two days.  I am so very very scared.  I will forever carry your memory in my heart and soul.  I have learned much about myself and our savior.  In the words of the song "far beyond the empty cradle through the coming years. I will carry you.  I will praise the one whose chosen me to carry you."  Your birth day was the most spiritual experience of my life.  I am worried about the new phase with a new baby and possibly forgetting you. However, I know you will forever be connected to my heart.  We as a family love you so much. Our family is working very hard to do what we need to in order to be together forever.  Keep being obedient, as I know you are.  WE love you and want you to know you can never be replaced. Our motto:   "God's will is what we would choose if we had all the facts"