The day that used to be a day off to get the summer started. A day to honor vets and others who were very old and then died. I never thought it would be me needing to place flowers on my child's grave. My children who were with me today commented on the age of some of the people. 15,18,26,85 etc... Derrek and I both said NO one should have to bury a child. No matter the age they are Children are supposed to die after their parents.
Also I have noticed the gentle pull of the 'grief" starting to make it's way onto center stage. I am much more aware of my faults and my short comings. I look at Joshua's short life and analyze again what I could have/should have done different. I also count the blessing of having my four other children in my life. SO grateful for their spirits and joy.
5 months ago