3 years

Wow.  I have felt really good about the grief game this go around.  I have felt you near me and feel calm and collected about the place you and I are together.  I think of my son daily.  I have little thoughts and feelings and I know you are watching and guarding our family as well as doing the other things you have been assigned.  I have been asked recently what do I know about my Joshua.  Well I know he is obedient to a fault.  I know he wanted to come to earth and wanted to be part of our family.  I know he has a calm, big presence.  I know he adores his family brothers, sisters and parents.  Our extended family talks of his presence also. 

Joshua dear the grief is palatable today.  I feel the terrifying feeling of letting you down and not protecting you from the danger that took your life.  I feel so inadequate  lost and even betrayed by my body.  The pain is raw today and probably will be as we go through your angel day tomorrow.  Know that your mommy loves you. You just get to have heaven before I do.  I have learned so much from your brief visit in my life.  Love you forever, like you for always.  As long as I am living my baby you will be.

LOVE forever, Mom